Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
