oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize