I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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