Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
