apparently the secret to your success is patron
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
