You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize