Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
