Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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