Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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