He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
