If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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