she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
