I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
