Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
