why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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