Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
