I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I think my fart just growled at me.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
