guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
