my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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