"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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