So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
