I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
