This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
