How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
