My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Your topless pictures make me question reality
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
