WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
