yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
