Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
