If i come over, it means nothing
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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