I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
