He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
