I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
