I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
