Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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