So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
