omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
