I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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