Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize