He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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