he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
