So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
