Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
