Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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