Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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