The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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