Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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