hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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