I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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