Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
