She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
