I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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