I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
