I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
