it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
