Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize