can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
A bitchslap is in order.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
