it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
