Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
