handjob tips. give me some.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
