I accidentally burped into my bong.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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