i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
